Welcome to Poker’s Life Lessons, where Donna shares her best lessons and worst beats from beyond the poker table. Her philosophy? Play life’s crappy cards like you’ve already won — and stay unattached to the outcome.
CAUTION: With her mouth muffler off and decades of experience shifting mental gears, Donna embraces her role as the Unmuffled MindShift Mechanic.
Since New Year’s resolutions fail 92% of the time, we are not manifesting failure; our goal-setting process is flawed.
We aim too high, chasing big, hairy, audacious goals without a roadmap to get there.
It’s like sitting down at a poker table for the first time and expecting to win the tournament without knowing the rules or understanding how to play.
How many times have you made a resolution or set any goal that mattered and stuck with it?
I bet very few, if any. But you’re not alone.
A 2024 Forbes Health poll showed that only 8% of Americans who make resolutions stick with them for an entire month.
Science also confirmed that only 8% of people ever reach their goals.
That means we fail 92% of the time. Chew on that for a while => 92%!
The Problem With Bucket Lists
We’re hard-wired to think big… from dream vacations, career triumphs, the perfect partner, and epic wins.
Call it a bucket list if you want, but our mental and physical health is better served by something far more manageable: a thimble list.
You heard me => a thimble list of small, easily attainable goals.
Why? Because checking off tiny wins gives us real-time satisfaction and momentum.
My quest is to finish three itty-bitty things each day. Ridiculously small. Fold the laundry. Write a paragraph. Answer one email I’ve been avoiding.
I hear you thinking, “That’s not enough!”
Hold on there; you got-to-get-it-done and got-to-get-it-done-now soul.
Think about what it feels like to check off even a tiny thing. Even the briefest feeling of success taps the brain’s reserve of dopamine, the feel-good hormone, which signals pleasure and motivates you to repeat the action.
I love the fact that our brain has a built-in rewards system!
When I check off a small task, I feel like a champion.
Life is a marathon, sure. But if you think about it that way, the finish line isn’t all that inspiring. It’s the end of the race. Kaput. Game over. Bye bye. You're dead.
Instead, what if we treated life like a series of poker hands?
You don’t have to win every hand. You just need to play mindfully, observe the table, read the room, and adjust as cards are dealt.
Turn on Your Internal GPS
In the old days, we used paper maps. Today, we rely on GPS to get us where we’re going.
I even use GPS when I head home to see how long it’ll take and avoid traffic.
Your body is the vehicle, your mind is the driver, and your internal GPS is the tool that helps you navigate.
To chart a meaningful path forward, you need two things:
1. A clear intention = your destination.
2. An honest assessment of where you are now = your starting point.
It’s like opening an atlas (remember those?) and plotting a route. You can’t get where you’re going if you don’t know where you are.
Step 1: Listen to Your Self-Talk
The first step in activating your internal GPS is to tune in to your self-talk. Fleeting thoughts — “I’ll never get this done” and “Why even bother” — are like road signs. They tell you where you’re headed.
But here’s the thing: listening alone isn’t enough.
Thoughts are slippery little buggers. If you don’t write them down, they’ll disappear faster than the last bag of chips at a poker night and the bowl of popcorn while watching Netflix.
When you write down your self-talk, something extraordinary happens. You make friends with your thoughts. You create a relationship with them. Most importantly, you start to see patterns, both good and bad.
Step 2: Observe Without Judgment
One of the most valuable skills in poker is observing other players, including how they bet, their tells, and how they tend to behave.
The same is true for your self-talk. Once you write it down, look at it with curiosity, not judgment.
This is what I call The MindShift Mechanic Way:
Thank the negative thought as you recognize it.
Forgive yourself for negative thinking.
Accept where you are without shame or blame.
Become an unbiased, detached observer of your mind.
Just like in poker, staying mindful and present gives you the edge. What you know now might change with the next hand, and that’s okay.
Step 3: Set Micro-Destinations
Big goals are overwhelming. They loom over you like a mountain you’re unsure you can climb. Instead, think of your goals as mini-destinations — steps along the way.
Here’s the roadmap:
Identify one thing you can do today.
If it still feels too big or will take more than 15 minutes to complete, break it into smaller steps.
Celebrate the win, no matter how small.
Every time you achieve a micro-goal, you recalibrate your internal GPS, build confidence, and prove to yourself that forward motion is possible.
That action generates motivational energy that keeps you moving once you've started.
Action Plan: Reprogram Your Self-Talk
So, where do you start? How do you begin?
Tune in and listen to your inner dialogue. Jot it down and notice the conversations happening within you — the positive, the challenging, and everything in between.
Set a clear intention, reframe negativity, and speak positivity into existence.
When we miss big hairy goals, we hold onto that failure like a bad beat at the poker table.
We wallow and bemoan how poorly we did.
“Why did I make that stupid move again?”
“Why didn’t I fold sooner?”
But when we notice our "I'm not good enough" self-talk with a forgiving and accepting mindset, those setbacks become opportunities to fine-tune our inner dialogue.
Then, you can play the next hand that life deals with renewed confidence.
Takeaway
Resolutions and big goals fail because we set ourselves up for overwhelm and frustration. But by tuning into our self-talk, setting micro-destinations, and celebrating small wins, we can reprogram our minds to join the 8% club.
Regardless of what cards life deals, play them wisely.
Make the Shift That Matters
Recognizing and shifting what you say to yourself is a simple yet powerful process that can transform your life. It is the foundation of my upcoming online masterclass.
During this LIVE event, I’ll guide you through the steps to reframe your thoughts and reprogram self-talk.
Life doesn’t deal us the same cards every day, and it’s not about the hand we’re dealt. It’s about how we play the cards.
Join Me in the 8% Club
Your precise self-talk is the key to joining the 8% club. It’s about being deliberate with the words you say to yourself because what you tell yourself matters more than you think.
You don’t have to believe the words you say, but your subconscious hears them as fact.
Join me for the FREE Speed-Shift Your Self-Talk Masterclass on February 28, 2025, at 3 PM ET. You'll experience the process in real time and become better equipped to live your desired life.
Put the Masterclass on your calendar. Need help converting the time to your zone? Google has your back.
I decided to do it later in my day to make it more comfortable for people worldwide.
The registration page will be up later this week. Remember to subscribe so the invitation will appear in your email next week.
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