Ever feel like you're saying too much and no one's really listening?
On a recent Zoom call, one of my mastermind buddies, Mae Salinas, shared a gem from her 11-year-old son. She was rambling, trying to explain something, when he stopped her:
“Mama, keywords, please.”
I chuckled and felt that, too.
We live in a world of scanners. Fast readers. Quick thinkers. Instant reactors.
What about those of us writing today?
We've adapted. Rather than just survive, we thrive by connecting on a deeper level with our readers.
That’s also my intention when I turn this post into a podcast. As I record it, I am speaking directly with you.
I owe a debt of gratitude to another mastermind buddy, Tom Martin, for his feedback on my 'unique formatting' in my Substack posts. His kind words prompted me to reflect on the origins of my style.
It's partly the decades I've spent writing for glossy magazines and newsprint tabloids since 1998. But there's more.
A deeper reason why my writing sounds like a conversation and reads like a rhythm. That’s what I want it to be.
We speak in beats. In pauses. In one-liners. In questions.
In, well, in emotions.
And yes, I'll always leave space around the em dashes — even if Grammarly throws a fit.
People no longer read in the traditional sense.
We glance. We skim. We decide in three seconds if we'll keep going.
That's why I write in digestible tidbits. It's not lazy; it's legacy.
Speaking of legacy, let me tell you a story.
The 10-Year-Olds Who Taught Me a Lesson
How can a 65-year-old woman communicate with tiny 10-year-old humans?
If they were your grandchildren or great-grandchildren, that's a different story.
But me?
I’m one of those who chose never to bear children, and frankly, I didn’t have a clue how to talk with wee ones.
Sure, kids are cute — as long as they stay out of my face.
Writing that down, I almost deleted it. But here, I’m Unmuffled, so I let it stay.
Do you think less of me for saying that?
I hope you appreciate my transparency and love me for being me.
A Car Wash and a Gut Feeling
It was a Saturday in August 2014. After nearly four decades in Florida, I still hadn’t gotten used to the heat.
As I stepped outside, I hit a wall of 95% humidity and thought, “Phew. It’s sure going to rain later today.”
Then, the inner dialogue started.
“But the car needs washing.”
“Lovebug season. They'll eat through the paint if you don’t clean them off. You should be ashamed!”
“Maybe I’ll wash it after groceries.”
“Unlikely.”
“Hmm… I’m grateful our car was washed by someone else today.”
“Seriously?! You’re trying to manifest a car wash?”
“Nope. I’m seeing our white car already sparkling clean. Envisioning works. Why not here?”
Moments later, I passed an auto parts store where tiny girls waved cardboard signs: “FREE Car Wash.”
Chuckling, I circled back.
Stopping at that store when they hosted car washes was a needed respite. Massive live oak trees shaded the lot, and I loved sitting there feeling the breeze on my face.
I asked the woman overseeing the event, “What are the girls raising money for?”
“Regional competition,” she said. “But none of my teams this young have ever placed. I don’t expect them even to place this time either.”
That raised my internal eyebrow.
Sad enough to expect failure — worse to say it out loud.
Words matter.
I asked what kind of team.
“Dance,” she said.
How old?
“All ten.”
She didn’t know what held them back, but I had a hunch.
I offered to do a complimentary 30-minute MindShifting™ session before their event.
She said yes.
Preparing for Something I Didn't Expect
Getting ready, I was nervous.
Me.
A 6-foot-5-inch tall coach with more than forty years of experience.
Why? Because they were ten!
Ten-year-olds in 2014 were already tech-savvy and sharp.
Let’s be honest — many younglings today are preteens in height and mindset. Some are even pre-adults in skill because of extensive screen time.
But I did what works when doubt creeps in — I stopped overthinking and just showed up.
When I walked into the dance studio, I felt physically off-balance. Not just metaphorically — literally.
I’m a physical giant compared to those itty-bitty girls. They looked up at me, wide-eyed, and collectively stepped back in unison just like they would do in a dance move.
Can you imagine how that might make you feel?
Without my experience in sales, I might’ve thought, “They don’t like me. I can’t do this. ”
Instead, I relied on what I knew.
When my height caused discomfort, which it often did, I’d take a seat to level the playing field. It had nothing to do with my value — it was about their comfort.
Creating Connection
With these girls, my first intent was to talk with them, not at them.
But they were tiny humans — twelve of them — in tights.
It was Wednesday evening. They’d been working out. I smelled the sweat, and the studio was warm.
I removed my jacket and said, “Let’s rearrange the seating into a semicircle.”
They jumped to it.
We created an open space — a modern-day Round Table — to signal equality.
I sat in the owner’s rolling desk chair — not towering, just grounded.
Without deciding in advance, I gave them the choice.
After briefly explaining two MindShift Exercises™, I asked, “Which one do you want to try?”
They voted for The Egg.
Then, I passed out little 3x5 spiral notebooks — my favorite kind that fits in a back pocket.
Their assignment?
Write down their doubts and biggest fears about competing on Saturday.
From the way they moved, it was apparent they were strong and skilled.
When I told them they had the power to shift their performance with the words they said to themselves, they physically sat up taller.
Here’s what we covered:
Installed The Egg — a mirrored, flexible egg installed around the body that selectively reflects negative energy and allows in only the good
Learned how to maintain their Egg to protect themselves
Received a tool (the notebook) to transform their self-talk
Before I left, I asked, “Are you huggers?”
They nodded.
As each hugged me, I whispered, “What ah-hah did you have today?”
I stayed in my chair the whole time.
It was all I could do not to cry.
Monday Morning, This Message Came In
“They won blue ribbons in every competition.”
Let that sink in.
Every. Single. One.
They’d never placed in competition before. Then they swept the event!
That moment reminded me that younger generations are often wiser than we expect, just like Mae's son was.
The Magic of Showing Up
On that recent Zoom call, I sat with Mae, the lucky mom with the 11-year-old son, and another mastermind buddy, Lisa Frattali.
We spanned three decades.
Yet we were equals.
The magic?
It’s not just in the tools. It’s not just in the experience.
It’s in how we show up.
Present. Curious. Willing to listen. Willing to learn.
From an 11-year-old.
From a team of 10-year-olds.
From each other.
And just like those 10-year-olds, you already have what it takes — you might just need a better way to talk to yourself.
If that resonates, please consider becoming a paid subscriber.
You’ll get access to my monthly Self-Talk Tune-Ups on Zoom.
The live, interactive sessions where I guide you to shift your inner dialogue and fine-tune your mindset in real-time.
Founding members? You’ll get even more.
Exclusive access to my private training vault, where I’ve tucked away decades of tools, strategies, and MindShifting™ gems.
More personal connections.
More behind-the-scenes chats.
If in doubt, remember.
I love you just the way you are — even if we disagree.
You are special, unique, and authentic.
I’ll bring the tools. You bring the willingness.
Let’s shift. Together.
— Donna
The Unmuffled MindShift Mechanic
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