Weathering the Storm: How Poker Prepares You for Life’s Unexpected Twists
Lessons in Resilience, Emotional Agility™, and Staying Grounded Amid Chaos
The chaos of a hurricane and the unpredictability of poker share a striking similarity — both can change everything in a moment.
Like an unexpected card turn, a storm’s sudden shift forces us to adapt quickly or risk losing control of everything.
Three days after experiencing fear on the primal level as Hurricane Milton advanced, I'm amazed at how good I feel today. Yesterday, my husband mentioned the same.
Since we’re on well water, four days without electricity means it's five days since I showered.
Stop pulling back and making that squishy face when you read that. 😂 I saw you. I did.
You can't smell me. We're not in the same room — even though I wish we were — and Amazon delivered the case of adult-sized wet wipes a week ago.
Phew! So glad I ordered a case.
Just be prepared to get a virtual hug at the end of this post. I will give it, and you will feel me loving you. 💜
I'm again pecking on my phone, and this is publishing early Monday morning my time, and late Down Under.
Getting everything prepared for the second hurricane in two weeks, I was planning to shower then the electricity went out earlier than expected.
We never know it all.
Finding Calm Amidst Chaos
Despite the overwhelming force of the storm, something unexpected happened when the hurricane finally passed — instead of exhaustion or defeat, I felt inspired.
It’s hard to pinpoint, but on a metaphysical level, I felt a shift.
It is challenging to find anything uplifting to say in the wake of such a disaster, but something did happen that I can't explain.
I am inspired. I feel better on multiple levels.
I am as elated as I’ve ever been winning a poker tournament.
I am experiencing the joy I've felt quietly dragging a huge pot without showing a well-timed bluff.
I feel as good as I do having fulfilling sex.
Funny. Right? He's still asleep and all our batteries are in flashlights.
But I do feel that GOOD. How can this be?
My heart was out of rhythm for nearly a week until it reset last night as I drafted this post.
Energetically, I keep wondering what shifted during the hurricane that prompted me to publish my first post from my phone that was near out of battery?
How did I manage to start with a blank screen and push publish when the battery was down to one digit?
Is this what I'm supposed to do?
When Life and Poker Mirror Each Other
Just like a hurricane, poker and life demand resilience, emotional balance, and the ability to stay calm when chaos swirls around us.
In both cases, preparation and quick thinking can make all the difference.
During the monster storm, Hurricane Milton, I learned firsthand how quickly chaos can hit.
As the winds howled and slammed into our windows, I couldn’t help but think of those overly aggressive poker players — the ones who push so hard that even the strongest hands fold under pressure.
Milton's winds were like that — relentless, terrifying, and forcing me to make decisions in the heat of the moment.
Just like at the poker table, we sometimes have to act fast when the situation demands it.
When the torrential downpour and winds slammed into the windows beside me, I bolted out of bed, checked on my husband, and moved to a safer room.
My husband, whom I also call Gregory the Great, was still snoring soundly in his room.
Since our biological clocks don’t quite sync, we sleep separately. But trust me, we’ve got a playroom, and your imagination can take it from there!
Donna Speaks to You
At this moment, I’m speaking directly to you. But you know that already since you got a whiff of me. 😊
At 75, I’ve learned not to hold back — life’s too short for that.
Twice ordained and living unapologetically bold, I’m done wearing a voice Muffler. I shall continue Unmuffled.
I tell it like it is, and if that means being a little raunchy along the way, so be it.
Whether it’s a hurricane or a tough hand at the poker table, you must face the chaos head-on and find your truth in the storm.
Amid all the overwhelming chaos, there’s always room for a little laughter.
When I checked on my soulmate, who was blissfully snoring through a storm that had me questioning the strength of our windows and roof, I thought, “Well, at least one of us is getting a good night’s sleep!”
That’s the thing about life’s storms — sometimes, you can only chuckle and carry on.
Adapting to the Unexpected
Hurricane Milton wouldn’t stop just because we had prepared, and the same is true in poker — no amount of planning can fully account for the unpredictability.
The real challenge in both poker and life is staying flexible and adapting as new information comes in.
Milton’s path shifted several times, and it felt like the storm was hunting us. In poker, your opponents do the same — test your defenses and wait for you to slip up.
But, like in a hurricane, poker requires you to hold steady, even when everything changes.
Even with all our preparations for the mightiest hurricane, I couldn’t stop wondering — are we safe? What will it do next?
Embracing Emotional Agility™
In poker, when you're emotionally off balance or out of alignment, it's known as tilt.
Once I understood the essence of tilt, I realized it's not solely triggered at the poker table.
To me, tilt has the energy that can affect areas of our life like hurricanes do. Unfathomable. Uncontrollable. Unpredictable.
The tilt-factor creates an emotional environment where we make poor decisions, throw good money after bad, and fracture our self-esteem.
The cards might not fall your way, but how you play your hand matters more than the luck of the deal. It’s not about controlling the storm but managing your responses and your emotions is.
It’s about developing Emotional Agility™. Mindfully responding rather than reacting and being pulled into the eye of an emotional hurricane.
Preparedness and Resource Management
I wasn’t afraid of Milton. I was terrified. But what kept me from panicking was the knowledge that we were prepared.
When things got rough, we had supplies, a plan, a safe place to go, and a fully stocked and fueled motorhome.
In poker, just like in life, you need a strategy, preparation, and a cool head to survive the unpredictability of what’s coming next.
Poker is a card game played by people, but most importantly, it is a people game played with cards.
You don’t sit down at a poker table, hoping for the best, without any idea of how to play your stack. You have a plan, evaluate, and shift based on how the chips flow around that table, and how players come and go.
One of my favorite singers, Kenny Rogers, taught us, “You've got to know when to hold'em, know when to fold’em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.”
Knowing the value of the fold might be more important than any left-brain logical strategy. That's on my list of upcoming posts, which might unintentionally solicit disagreement from some of the best poker pros.
In both poker and life, preparedness isn’t just about knowing the game — it’s about knowing yourself.
Understanding your strengths, weaknesses, and limits can guide your decisions and actions, whether at the poker table or facing life's challenges.
Since poker is a finite universe composed of you and the opponent at your table, your strengths and weaknesses are magnified.
Again, it's happening! The thoughts are coming. They're spinning around in my head like a cyclone. I'm writing them down!
When the pressure mounts, when the winds of life pick up, you need to trust that your preparation will carry you through.
At the poker table, that means managing your bankroll wisely and understanding that sometimes, folding is the smartest move. Consider translating that lesson to your business, partnerships, family, and relationships.
The Power of Patience in the Storm
Timing is everything in poker, just as it is in life’s storms. You can’t rush through a hurricane any more than you can rush through a poker tournament.
Sure, you must make quick decisions at the table, but pausing and thinking before your snap call or fold often proves you made the wisest decision.
At the same time, when you think too long, you often second-guess yourself into losing.
Think long. Think wrong.
After Milton, we waited, listened to the wind, and watched the storm pass.
At the poker table, sometimes the best move is to fold, watch, and let the storm — or your opponent — blow itself away.
The beauty of poker is that it teaches you patience. It reminds you that not every hand is worth playing, and not every situation requires immediate action.
Sometimes, the wisest thing you can do is sit tight, conserve your energy, and wait for the right opportunity to take aggressive action.
Rebuilding Through Resilience
In the aftermath of Hurricane Milton, just like after a bad beat at the poker table, the real work begins. Rebuilding takes time.
But poker teaches us that every hand is a new opportunity — a chance to rebuild and recover.
Life is the same way. The key is resilience, whether it’s a hurricane that devastates your home or a tough loss that wipes out your bankroll.
You don’t quit because of one bad decision or mistake. You take a step back, forgive yourself, and take time to process before moving forward.
If there is anything that’s taken me three-quarters of a century to embrace fully, it is self-forgiveness — the crucial part of resilience that empowers us to move forward without carrying the heavy weight of baggage filled with past mistakes.
Without accepting yourself for who you are right now, in this moment — regardless of what a loser you might think you are — and then without releasing guilt, judgment, blame, and shame, you are royally screwed.
Yes, that's a mouthful, and it's worth processing, and integrating into your DNA.
Here goes, one more time:
Regardless of what a loser you might think you are, without accepting yourself for who you are right now by holding on to guilt, judgment, blame, and shame, you are royally screwed!
You Are Valued
Resilience is key, but it's not just about bouncing back — it's also about embracing who you are in the process.
If there is nothing else you take away today, please remember this: I value you for who you are, just the way you are, with all your flaws and shortcomings. Your unique qualities make you precious, valuable, and authentic.
Give yourself some grace. I promise you deserve it, regardless of the crappy cards life dealt you, how you’ve played that hand, or what a dickhead you’ve been.
We all make mistakes, and being kinder to yourself in those moments is best played.
Assess where you are. Consider where you’d rather be. Rest, recharge, and regroup. Head in that direction.
Stop doubting yourself, then get your head out of your ass and back in life’s game — smarter, stronger, and more determined.
Besides, the light’s brighter out here.
As I rebuild after dancing with the Hurricane siblings, Helene and Milton, I’m reminded that poker and life are full of storms — the ones we see coming and the ones that catch us off guard.
But the real question is: how do you handle the chaos?
Are you grounded when the winds pick up — whether at the poker table, in business, or in life?
Can you find your calm in the center of the storm?
The next time the cards don’t fall your way, think about how you’ll respond.
What Next
This is just the opening hand regarding what poker can teach us about navigating life’s most brutal situations.
I’ll also be sharing my Mama Peggy’s wisdom because, in her no-bullshit Southern Baptist style, she told me, “Stop hovering. You are not my mother! Get outta here and go back to the poker table.”
I miss Mama Peggy’s grit, and I play life’s game like she taught me. “Stop trying to hold onto Jello so hard. When you do, you have nothing. Trying is a waste of time.”
I always thought that either Mama Peggy channeled Yoda or he channeled her.
Many more lessons are waiting at the table — lessons that go beyond the cards and into the heart of resilience, strategy, and patience. Stay tuned because the best hands are still to be played.
What Others Say
The feedback I’ve received from this community inspires me, and you might also be as Unmuffled as I am.
Here’s what some dear, sweet, precious souls had to say:
"Lose the muffle... you're not going to need that shit anymore. Your storytelling is hitting the spot like french fries + ranch after a long night of drinking. Tell me MORE about this bold, badass bitch who's becoming my guilty pleasure."
—
"Well, it’s about damn time, Donna! I knew it would be worth the wait when you finally hit ‘publish,’ and you didn’t disappoint. The way you’ve ripped off the muffler and thrown it out the window is the best thing you could’ve done. Your honesty, humor, and resilience jump off the page like a Category 5, and I’m here for every moment of it."
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"I was completely glued to the screen as I read the origin story trapped inside a disaster update post. I’m triply impressed that it was typed on a phone. What? I’m not worthy. You kept your voice present throughout. It felt like you were talking directly to me."
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"It took not one, but TWO hurricanes to launch this blooming brilliant publication! That’s how this feels, reading this long-awaited launch post. To be hugged by a 6'5" real estate genius who translates the un-rules of poker into life's greatest wisdoms."
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"This reminded me of when I first got into poker. Poker is so beautifully complex that when I was playing, it was like a trip to the spa for my mind, inadvertently shutting out everything else."
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"Donna, I am just absolutely OBSESSED with you!!! You crack me up, you make me smile, you make me feel all the feels, you inspire me with your wisdom… Hugest congrats to your launch — you absolutely nailed it!!! I loooooove Unmuffled Donna!!!"
Make Donna Better
Hearing your feedback encourages me and also helps me grow. Like Megan, Teri, Brad and others (I want to thank them all!!), you, too, can help shape what I do next by answering these three questions:
1. What did you love about this post?
2. What might I add, clarify, or improve to make it even better?
3. What keeps you coming back — or would bring you back — for more?
Your input makes me better. So, let’s keep this conversation going.
Subscribe for More Unmuffled Wisdom
Why wait for life’s next storm to learn another lesson?
Subscribe today and get weekly Unmuffled thoughts delivered to your inbox at an unknown time on a to-be-determined day. I intend to deliver at least once a week.
As I get my chit together, I’ll know more about timing and let you know.
This week, you get two because you are that special to me.
Don’t miss out on what’s next — the best hands are waiting to be dealt.
Refer a Friend
Since more than one person experienced snot bubbles reading the original refer-a-friend invitation and then shared it, I’m keeping it like it is. [Even if it’s a little too long for the front of a hoodie]:
If you have a friend who might be interested in hearing the Unmuffled 6’5” woman, known as the Big Girl of Poker and B3 (Big Badass Bitch), who is married to a 5’3” man, known as Little Sh*t, affectionately called Tit High, share this with them.
Level Up
Ready to step up your game at the table of life?
Here’s your challenge for the week: the next time you’re faced with chaos or unpredictability, tap the pause button and breathe.
Stay grounded. Take some time for self-care. Center. Find that balance you’ve been missing. Then, make your best move and see what happens.
Like poker, life rewards those who take care of themselves first so they have the focus and energy to play both smart and bold.
If you screw up, you learn faster when you fail. Believe me, I am a quick study, and I’d rather you learn through me rather than have to do it alone, all by yourself.
Last Word Today From Donna
There are Zen-like moments in poker, but when we become too involved with the outcome, we second-guess ourselves and lose more often.
If you ask how to play a particular hand or the best way to proceed in business or a relationship, I wager the best answer is, “It depends.”
Look. There’s no perfect answer for anything. We never know what we don’t know, and I’m pretty smart knowing that.
Now, we are getting started. Whether it’s poker, life, or hurricanes, the lessons keep coming — and I’m here to share them with you, Unmuffled and unapologetic. Stay tuned because the best is yet to come.
Now, take a long, deep breath, and hold…
Consider yourself hugged…
… now exhale and hop down to tell me how to be better.
Love,
Donna
“Since we’re on well water, four days without electricity means it's five days since I showered.
Stop pulling back and making that squishy face when you read that. 😂 I saw you. I did.”
Do you wanna know what was going through my mind as I read this? I don’t need an excuse of no power and well water to go five days without a shower. I’ve got dry shampoo and a good deodorant. If I can push it to six days, I will. But I live in Minnesota where sometimes it’s just too cold to get wet, and I don’t have to deal with hot Florida humidity making the pits stink.
Seriously though, 4 days is my max.
And, that line about the batteries in the flashlights, I dropped my phone laughing.
Consider yourself hugged Donna.
And know, when I hug, I can grow my energy to make even your 6’5”ness feel fully held.
Donna, your metaphor of poker as a way to handle life’s curveballs really resonates. I may not play poker, but I’ve found that learning to navigate my life storms with good strategy and patience is universal. Your wisdom reminds me that staying grounded and adaptable is often the best bet.